WHAT IT USED TO BE LIKE
It was like a picture in a vacation ad,
perfect to the exact strip on a blade of grass.
The rolling hills,
all green and fresh,
showing off its glowing lawn.
A mother and a fawn,
playing in the silky meadow,
soaking up sounds of the mountain echo.
The smell of freshness,
that cleansed my soul,
and carried away any thoughts of being old.
The lustrous smile of the brilliant mass,
spreading his wealth and sharing his smile,
with the children below, who frolics carelessly,
embracing the warm hug of the sun.
Suddenly, all is gone.
I opened my eyes to the choking smog,
a whole different picture,
but of the same old place.
Factories replaces the glowing lawns,
and the smog chased away the beautiful fawns.
Smoke rises from everywhere.
There are no trees; everything is bare.
What use to be a paradise,
is now a dark and unpleasant abyss.
I'm 15 y/o
it was for english class haha
I think it is good, I hope you got an A. I didn't think of it so much as dreaming but just more like an older person remembering back to how things use to be. Almost like going from the country to the city as well!!! Great job!!!!
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please comment on my poem?
***it's a juxtaposition poem***
WHAT IT USED TO BE LIKE
It was like a picture in a vacation ad,
perfect to the exact strip on a blade of grass.
The rolling hills,
all green and fresh,
showing off its glowing lawn.
A mother and a fawn,
playing in the silky meadow,
soaking up sounds of the mountain echo.
The smell of freshness,
that cleansed my soul,
and carried away any thoughts of being old.
The lustrous smile of the brilliant mass,
spreading his wealth and sharing his smile,
with the children below, who frolics carelessly,
embracing the warm hug of the sun.
Suddenly, all is gone.
I opened my eyes to the choking smog,
a whole different picture,
but of the same old place.
Factories replaces the glowing lawns,
and the smog chased away the beautiful fawns.
Smoke rises from everywhere.
There are no trees; everything is bare.
What use to be a paradise,
is now a dark and unpleasant abyss.
I'm 15 y/o
You are a very, very talented 15 year old. I wish I could use words to convey such pictures in peoples heads as you did. I could honestly see in my head what you were writing. It is amazing so true
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